Unhappy and unmotivated…

By | Health & Fitness

Have you ever felt unmotivated to workout? Have you ever just wanted to unfollow every “motivational” social media account because you are tired of seeing everyone hit their fitness goals when you can barely get enough willpower to get your butt off the couch? Have you ever gone into a binge eating episode only to finish feeling drenched with guilt? I have been there too. I get you. In this first episode of Dear Cassey, I am going to share my personal experiences with you and my advice for anyone going through these fitness struggles right now!

…and just so you know, Dear Cassey is an advice column that I started on my blog that I’m hoping will turn into a series on YouTube! If you have a burning question you would like featured in a future episode or blog post, please leave it in the comments!!

Today's featured letter:

Dear Cassey,

I'm hoping for some advice or maybe just some feedback to help me with understanding my current situation and motivation. I'm overweight, and I always have been. I'm unhappy with how I look, and I hate taking pictures because I've totally let myself go (worse than I already was). I'm at my heaviest and know I need to do something about it… but for some reason, I don't have motivation? I go to the gym and stop workouts early. I start workout videos and sit on my butt instead of doing the moves. I binge eat even though I know how bad it is for me…. if I'm so unhappy, why am I not more driven to do something about it? Where can I find some motivation? Right now I'm just finding all of the motivational accounts I follow UNmotivating and disheartening, because I see others doing it and putting in the effort, and I'm just not. What's wrong with me?!

Unhappy and Unmotivated

To read more Dear Cassey posts on my blog, go here:

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Cassey Ho is an award-winning fitness instructor, entrepreneur and online personality. As the creator behind Blogilates, the #1 female fitness channel on YouTube, she’s transformed millions of lives through helping them achieve their strength and weight-loss goals. She focuses on making fitness fun and the results are evident. Cassey's unique format, POP Pilates©, which launched as a workout video on YouTube in 2009, has become a live fitness class that can be taken at gyms all over the world with over 3,000 POP Pilates classes being taught monthly. Her authenticity continues to shine through, making her one of the most relatable fitness icons online and beyond. She's also the author of the best-selling book, Hot Body Year Round and is the designer of her own activewear line, POPFLEX.

With a wide range of free workout videos available, Cassey's channel focuses on ab exercises, butt & thigh exercises, arm exercises, pilates, cardio routines, fat burning workouts, high intensity interval training workouts (HIIT), stretching and flexibility routines and so much more!


Blogilates and oGorgeous Inc. strongly recommend that you consult with your physician before beginning any exercise program.

You should be in good physical condition and be able to participate in the exercise.

You should understand that when participating in any exercise or exercise program, there is the possibility of physical injury. If you engage in this exercise or exercise program, you agree that you do so at your own risk, are voluntarily participating in these activities, assume all risk of injury to yourself, and agree to release and discharge Blogilates and oGorgeous Inc. from any and all claims or causes of action, known or unknown, arising out of Blogilates' and oGorgeous Inc.'s negligence.

About the Author

  • YoDraco ✔︎ says:


    “¡ᴍ ɢɪғT͡ɪɴɢ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏoɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ sᴜʙs ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ”🍒

  • EllaMae says:

    love this!! you are so inspiring:)

  • Alex Resendiz says:

    I really love your personality Cassie. You’ve definitely uplifted my spirits for a long time!

  • As B says:

    The title literally read my mind

  • carissa says:

    definitely needed this right now, lately i’ve been feeling very down & unmotivated in all aspects. looking forward to the “dear cassey” series. 🤍

  • Emily Edwards says:

    I so needed to hear this. Thank you Cassie 😍

  • Lupe says:

    I’ve been feeling like this lately but I just do my workouts either way. The reason might be because I don’t give myself a break.

    • Jackie R says:

      Yeah same here

    • Leah Piper says:

      I used to feel the same way! I would dread working out, do it anyway, and then dread thinking about working out the next day. I would rarely take rest days (maybe once a week) and I’d do the same workouts.
      Now I feel motivated because I found workouts that suit me best, I try new workouts, I take a rest day every 2-3 days, I look forward to my protein shake after a workout, and I’m learning to accept that I won’t look flat all the time. Even Taylor Swift doesn’t have a flat stomach, it’s just so natural.
      I started taking more rest days because I learned that’s what Chloe Ting does, and she still looks amazing.
      Protein shake recipe:
      – One banana
      – One scoop of chocolate plant-based protein powder (or vanilla with a tablespoon of cocoa powder)
      – One cup of ice
      – About a half cup of almond milk or milk. (I just eyeball how much I want)
      – A dash of cinnamon
      – Two tablespoons of peanut butter
      It literally tastes like Reese’s Puffs.

  • T3aD3vi1 says:

    I’ve never related more to a thumbnail in a year or two…

  • Cali Purnell says:

    Not having motivation is ME right now. This video was so helpful

  • Sameh doll says:

    I needed this today

  • Deepankita Syal says:

    Im anorexic im underweight i have lost my periods. I gained my 1st kg after 1 year of restricting i feel bad but ik its good for me 😔

    Edit thanks for your like plz do share your experience wll help me to some extent i guess tired of starving myself

    • Frances Britton says:

      Same here! I’m on my first week of eating a lot after being underweight and no period for 3 months. It feels like I’m eating so much, but it just takes some time! I wish you all the best, you can do this!!!!

    • Franka H says:

      What helped me or still does on bad days, is to think about what a healthy body is able to do and what it needs to function.
      Losing my period for several years was for my anorectic Me a huge success, but reading about the fact that I could lose the chance/ ability to get pregnant was my “eye opener”. (Around that time I was 19)
      It will take time but you should focus each day on the things that define you as a person; in the beginning you might focus on your weight and the pounds you’ve lost but the more you think about yourself as a person you will be able to find more value in yourself as a person/ in your characteristics.
      It will take time and there always will be dark days, reach out to someone, talk to friends or family or write it down. If you have access to a stable healthcare system with psychological support, then reach out to them. These people are trained to help people like us.

    • Aishwarya Singh chowhan says:

      It’s ok girl you don’t have to starve yourself. Just have to do what makes you feel good. Sending love and happiness you way 😘😘

    • IJ WD says:

      Hi ❤️🌼 I recovered from eating disorders (orthorexia and BED) and I understand how you feel to some extent. Gaining weight used to be terrifying for me, it was one of my worst nightmares to think about how one day I might gain it all back.

      However, what really helped me was to find something to do that wasn’t related to weight loss. I fell in love with gardening because watching something I’ve been nurturing grow was so therapeutic 🙂 I slowly healed with the help of professionals, my loved ones and finding something that made me feel joy.

      You can do it! I’m so proud of you for being on the path of recovery and starting to gain weight. You are nurturing your body with the love ir deserves and trust me it’s the most rewarding thing to watch it flourish again 🙂 as someone who has recovered, I can promise you that one day you will look back and be proud of yourself for taking that first step ❤️💕

    • Sally Rosenberger says:

      weight gain can be TERRIFYING. stephanie buttermore, thereallife-rd.com, and paige schmidt helped me SO much. intuitive eating (the book) also helped me get through it.

      remember: gaining necessary weight + eating to heal your body doesn’t make you weak. it makes you STRONG.

      xx much love from someone who has been there

  • Jhenisha Doshi says:

    Can you make a video talking about existential crisis ? Would be really helpful.Btw loved today’s video ❤❤

  • Lilith86Bella says:

    Everything you said here deeply resonated with me as it has helped me too!! And it was mainly your advice that I had taken to heart to do sport/workout that you really love and look forward to do and with the binge eating… I too was restricting myself way too much and now I also follow my own food journey with lots of healthy foods but also foods that my soul really likes!!! ☺️🙏🍀 And one day I will slowly get to where I want to be without beating myself there. Thanks for your authenticity 🙏🥰

  • Kelsey Marshall says:

    I really enjoyed the message of “finding your why” and having a strong purpose of a healthy lifestyle. I used to want to only workout to get thin and that was so unsustainable! Now I’m focusing on moving my body and listening to what I really need. If I don’t want to do an intense workout, fine I’ll go on a walk or stretch. If I want to get super sweaty and kick my own butt, I’ll do that! This has brought on the best, most attainable results for me. Thank you very much Cassey for your videos, I’m so glad I stumbled upon this channel. I literally could not have done it without you 💕💕

  • I don’t Know what my name should be says:

    I’ve started cycling 7 miles to school everyday, but now I just can’t be bothered anymore, I’m so tired by the time I get home it’s difficult to concentrate

  • chickensoupfordinner says:

    It also sounds like the writer may be struggling with some depression. As someone who is a couple months into dragging themselves out of a no motivation depression hole, small things that I could turn into habits and build on really helped and I mean like “go for a 15 minute walk” small. Once it was a habit I could increase it and small enough to do everyday helped me get started, I agree totally with figuring out your why as well.

    I also had to learn to forgive myself, started keeping a gratitude journal and writing down one thing I liked about my body every day that I actually believed like “my hair is a nice color” or “I’m glad I can digest dairy”.

    And finally I got to a point where I had enough motivation to seek therapy, which I found helpful. I had to start so small to get any traction and then admit that an inch in the right direction was progress and falling down was part of the process.

    • Sarah S. says:

      I agree with the depression thing. I’m glad that things are better for you! Good job! I would add writing something about your body that isn’t physical, it feels incredibly good to see every little thing that your body can do, and what your body does for you

    • Aleah B. says:

      I was thinking the writer is struggling from depression, as well.

  • Sarah Siddiqui says:

    Hii Cassey ….my issue is that I know I am overweight since my childhood…food was always such a joy and happiness for me that my childhood years were so good!!! But as soon as I grew bigger and puberty hit me …my relatives .family ,friends started telling me to stop eating and made various jokes about me …which really disheartened me and I cried every single day…then I decided to embark on my fitness journey from grade 7 and I lost some weight but then I gained even more weight in the coming years and everyone started bullying me…. whenever I picked up a dish that was a bit unhealthy they would stare at me and tell me why I was eating that and that I am not supposed to eat that ….I even portion controled at that time but due to weakness I fainted in my classroom and was very sick…then I got back on track and now I have muscles but in top of that I have a lot of fat so I look bulkier on the other hand my cousin is very thin and petite cuz her structure is like that but everyone compares me to her …I have a broad structure hence I had always looked wide …my family does not eat healthy food and they just eat unhealthy food so I have no option left …..pls help me Cassey …I am such a dilemma and I just don’t feel like living anymore …I know I am not happy with my body but I don’t know what to do…the food u eat is really expensive and not available in my country ..I dont know what to do anymore …..pls help me😭😭

    • Aleah B. says:

      You need to start looking at recipes of clean dishes and start making them. Drink more water, cut out the junk food, cut out the soda. Also limit your dairy.

  • sanster says:

    So needed this today, tomorrow, everyday. Thanks for this Cassie ❤️

  • My says:

    For anyone trying to get into an exercise routine, try just doing a little bit, but do it consistently. Pick a time of day that you know can consistently do something (like right when you wake up or just before a shower or bed) and then start small, really small if necessary.

    For instance, in my case I realized that the time right before my shower at night I generally had no interruptions (and I couldn’t use the, “but in don’t want to get sweaty” because my plan was to shower right after anyway). So I started doing squats before my shower, and I started with doing just 3 squats a day- no more no less. It was a small enough number that I knew I could not talk myself out of it with any seriousness, and I didn’t do more than 3 because I knew that if I did more one day, it might make me feel unmotivated the next day because I wasn’t as good as the last day. I know this seems really over the top but my goal was to simply make a habit that I could stick to forever. So I did that, and I did it consistently until it became something I just did instead of something I had to force myself do. And then I started adding on, little by little. Adding 5 more squats every month, until now, I do 100 squats a month (I capped it at 100) and lost 50 lbs and now I realize that it’s not about losing weight, it’s about honoring yourself, and making goals that you can stick to, even if it’s just a tiny bit at first, do that little bit every day and you’ll see that you can succeed.

  • Nitescu Beatrice says:

    Amazing video🤩 exactly what I needed. I also have a question: how often should we workout? I have dance classes 2h/ week and I just think I don’t move my body enough. And there were also times when I exercised daily (2-3 workouts/ day) and after a couple of weeks I was “tired” of it and didn’t want to continue.
    So what’s the right amount or how can I set the right amount for me so I could also be healthy?

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